feed my people

when i was little, my mom said when i used to pray at dinner, i would pray for all the people who didn't have beds to sleep in at night. the fact that there were people in the world who couldn't crawl into a warm bed in a dry place like i could really bothered me at about age 5, and that feeling has never really gone away.

i recently found out about a homeless ministry in Austin called "Feed my People" that feeds hundreds of homeless people in the city breakfast every morning, and the same voice telling my little 5-year old heart to pray for the bedless people began speaking to me again about getting involved in this ministry for the summer. Of course, my 23-year old body doesnt appreciate being woken up at 4:45am in order to get there in time to serve breakfast, so i have gone through several tues/thurs of pressing the snooze button on my alarm clock before i finally made up my mind to get my lazy bum out of bed this morning and just GO. and what a blessing it was for me. we fed almost 600 people this morning at FUMC in downtown Austin...one of the biggest crowds they've had yet this summer. i served juice all morning- we even ran out because of the huge crowd. To see the smiles and voices of gratitude coming from all those people was overwhelming....talk about a much needed slap in the face from reality. I dont know the stories behind those faces, I wish I had the time and opportunity to find out...but I can see the immediate need they are dealing with- shelter from the 100+ degree Texas heat, meals just to sustain them through the day, soap and showers for their hygiene, and the need for people to care about them and let them know that they are valued as a person...home or no home.


As i was driving to work later this morning...in the pouring down rain...the Holy Spirit once again led me to pray for all those people i met this morning-- and others i may never lay eyes on--that don't have the opportunities i have been given and for their needs today that far outweigh my version of "needs" for the day. If you have the opportunity to get involved in anything like this in your own city, i HIGLY recommend it. I know the next time my alarm clock goes off at 4:45am, I will not hit the snooze button so quickly.

"I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me."
-Matthew 25:35

monday, monday

for the first time in my life, i think i truly understand why people loathe Mondays. I have been a full-time student for a long time now, so the weekends have always been a nice break from the classroom...but the homework doesn't go away over the weekend; in fact, the weekends are typically when the most homework needs to be done. i have found a new love for the weekend since i started my "job" this summer....this work doesn't follow me home every night/weekend like school-work does! this means i have the entire weekend to PLAY...from 5:00 on Friday afternoon until i go to bed on Sunday night, i can go/do absolutely whatever my little heart desires. The freedom i have discovered in that has been somewhat overwhelming...in a great way. However, the flipside to that freedom is the Monday morning that inevitably follows. Now, as I have said before, I truly love my job and what i am doing this summer...but that doesn't change the fact that I have to get up at 7 am in the morning, get dressed, drive to work, park in a garage (on the TOP level), and walk 3 blocks to work with heavy eyes after a long weekend full of activity. The only thing that actually gets me to my desk is the thought of the daily cup of coffee I will get to drink at 9:30 in the break room. And then the lunch i will get to eat at noon. and then what good new restaurant I will get to go to with one or some of my many new friends in Austin that night. hmmm, i see a pattern.

At least this week is a 4-day work week because of the Holiday. Maybe if i just think of today as a Tuesday instead of Monday, my perspective on the day will brighten. Yes, I think I will do that.

change of plans..as usual

i should have known this wouldn't be a relaxed summer like i imagined it would be...then again, my summers seem to follow a pattern of craziness lately! i just found out that i will be going back to Virginia way earlier than i originally planned to...I will be heading back to the East Coast on August 1st instead of the 21st now...which means i will only have about 4 days in Mississippi to hang out instead of the month i thought i would be spending there. (It seems the more plans i make to get back to Mississippi, the more they head in a completely different direction...every time!) I was asked to be an advisor for Regent's Academic Success Program, a position that i am THRILLED to have been nominated for, but it requires that I be in Va Beach (at school) by August 3rd. The only problem is that I cant move into my new house (our 3-story, million dollar beach house ON the beach, what what!) until August 30th. That should be an interesting month to say the least. Thank goodness for awesome friends that have offered to put up with me as a house guest for extended periods of time. As much as I am sad to not be in Mississippi for longer, I will get to be with the whole fam for a week or so before I have to move back...our annual beach trip is planned for the DAY AFTER me and Jack drive home from Texas. (I am becoming an expert last minute packer/re-packer!) Then back home for a couple of days before I make the drive to VA....whew! As crazy as my life seems sometimes, I would not trade it or slow it down for anything in the world. I am really learning to enjoy EACH DAY for what God has in it for me...good conversations, meeting new (and awesome) people, taking advantage of fun activities around me, and *trying* not to think too far ahead--it takes away the joy of the moment too often!

There is a verse I read recently in Amos...so random...but so applicable to my life right now that I thought I would share...it's so simple, yet so awesome to me.

" So Seek God and LIVE!" -Amos 5:6 (message)

I love this because it is a command to do two things. 1) Seek God...His will, His character, His desires, His love....and 2) LIVE...don't just sit around waiting for crystal clear answers or confirmations to your prayers before you can do anything purposeful in life...God will work through us when we just get out there and start living (and loving on people in the process!)

yes and amen!

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him." -1 John 5:14-15

i have been praying about a lot of things lately...and i love when God starts answering so many of my prayers all at once, mainly to remind me of just how much He is present and working in my life. Not that He answers everything at once....what then would be the point of remaining close to Him and needing wisdom and revelation from Him?!

Just a few of the prayers He has answered lately: giving me solid, awesome girl friends in Austin. I can't even begin to describe the blessing that has been!....Covering me with peace about the immediate future and filling me with contentment in being in Texas....Opening doors for Wes for a really good job in Austin (he got it today!)...Connecting me to families that need a babysitter this summer (so i can finally make some MONEY!)...Directing me to an awesome church in Austin (Stone) and giving me friends to go with!

I know I've said it before, but it is so worth repeating. God is GOOD. Even when we can't always see His big picture. And when you start to look for Him working in and around you, He will definitely show up!

re-direction

it has been an emotionally exhausting week. waves of sadness, confusion, peace, excitement, anxiousness, despair, hopefulness, and purpose have all washed over me...in the past four days alone. 

i wouldn't even know where to begin to explain the reasons for these emotions, and i have been contemplating even blogging about it at all...but i have resolved to explain what i have learned this week-through those emotions- while not revealing every single detail about my life (mainly because that is just not what i want this whole blog thing to be about). i have gone through phases of using this blog as a way to "update" friends and family about my crazy, all-over-the-place life, but who am i kidding- most of my closest friends (and most members of my family) don't even know what a blog is. i have realized that i have instead attracted a curious audience of fellow bloggers who seem to enjoy this not-so-creepy form of voyeurism as much as i do. so to whoever my audience may be, i hope you enjoy this re-direction [of the purpose] of my blog as much as i plan to enjoy posting on it. hopefully i will do better with posting now that the first year of law is behind me. thank God. 

so back to the purpose of this post. purpose- i really like that word. i like it because it perfectly describes what God has been revealing to me this week. like what it looks like to run passionately after God and HIS desires/purpose for my life and what it feels like when i lose sight of that. and what it does to my everyday thoughts, motives, and actions when i am not living with the passion that God put inside of me. I am not the most patient or laid back person, anyone who knows me well can attest to that. I am working on it. (I actually am fairly laid back compared to my type-A friends in law school, but i realize that's probably not a very accurate measurement). But i also know there is something inside of me that craves for more than complacency-which can often be misinterpreted as being patient and/or laid back- in my life. And as much as I hate to admit, in the past few months I had begun to crave my own desires and comfort more than I craved to know what God's desire for my life looks like, mainly out of fear that His plan may not include certain luxuries that i think i need or deserve, like a husband...a nice house...maybe even a boat...a lucrative job...a comfortable life in general. The good thing about God is that He still has the same plan for our lives now that He has had since he created us (with our own unique passions), despite what we think we His plan should shape up to be...and when He knows that our heart's greatest desire really is to do what would please Him, he wont let us get too comfortable in our "complacency" before he gently rips it out from under us. And trust me, it sucks. well, at first. until you realize...as i have this week...what His ultimate purpose in that is- to get our mind and heart back to HIM, and Him alone. He wants to be our first love, and He will do whatever it takes to get us back to that place. (see Rev. 2:2-4)

so that being said, i am working on re-directing my focus, desires, and passions back to the things that HE desires...for my life, for this world, for His kingdom. and I know he has given me desires of my own--like my intense desire to get married. the desire to minister to high schoolers. the desire to speak to massive groups of people one day about things He has revealed to me through the Holy Spirit. the desire to have kids...and to raise them the way i was raised. the desire to save children from human traffiking. But I want to be sure that those desires truly ARE from Him and not simply my own. Because without God, they will always be mere desires. Only He can turn those desires into realities. And what an unfathomably awesome reality they will each be if they are His. I truly can't wait. 

i shouldnt be doing this at work....

but it looks like i am anyway. i have seen this on several blog-friend's sites, so i dont even know who i should give credit to for stealing it from. oh well. enjoy.

FOOD-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice? honey mustard (from bulldog deli)
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Carrabas. (or Chipotle...is that considered "sit down" though?)
What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Mexican for sure. Gimme that quacamole/queso. I am becoming more Texan with every meal.

What are your pizza toppings of choice? either a classic pepperoni and cheese, or something really different like mushrooms, artichokes and spinach.

What do you like to put on your toast? i dont eat toast. yuck.

TECHNOLOGY
How many televisions are in your house? 1 big one in my "summer home". but in the beach house i am moving into in the fall-- 8 flat screens. i kid you not. and i didnt even watch TV last year...this could be dangerous.
What color cell phone do you have? the original iphone- so black and silver i guess.
What does the first text message in your inbox say and who sent it? "im supposed to find out if i got the job this afternoon..i'll keep you posted." - From Wes Moorman

Who was the last person to call you? Wes. (wow, i didnt realize i talked to him so much until right now)

BIO-LOGY
Are you right-handed or left-handed? right--but i apparently putt better left-handed?
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? my wisdom teeth and my appendix. see one of the below posts for that one.
What is the last heavy item you lifted? probably one of my suitcases when i moved in my house in Texas. I have been around a lot of great guys this summer who pretty much do all the heavy lifting for me. i love it.


CRAP-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? H no.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Elizabeth or Jane or something really old. And keep the "ann" with it so I would have a double name. i love double names.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? maybe. I'm pretty broke at the moment.

DUMB-OLOGY
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? too many.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? last month. pulled over in Tennessee going 20 over the speed limit. me and the cop started a conversation about how i graduated from State (he saw my alumni decal) and i told him i was in law school now...he came back 5 minutes later with a verbal "warning" and told me that he wasnt giving me a ticket because i would probably just try to challenge it being a law student and all. silly cop- but awesome for me. sometimes it does pay to be in the law business i guess.
Last person you talked to in person? Judge Onion. LOVE HIM.
Favorite Month? November (my bday month) and May (b/c it means school is OUT for months!)

CURRENT-OLOGY
Missing someone? yes.
Mood? hard to figure out. anxious. confused. but oddly, content at the same time.
What are you listening to? Hillsong United- the new cd. so good.
Watching? the computer screen. obviously.
Worrying about? the future. things not working out like i think they should.

RANDOM-OLOGY
What’s the last movie you watched? Legends of the Fall. FINALLY. (for the record- it was beyond amazing)
Do you smile often? everyone tells me i laugh alot (like, more than necessary probably). so i guess that means i smile alot too.
Do you always answer your phone? yes- it is attached to me. although i am working on changing that. so dont be mad if i dont answer when you call soon.
It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? probably someone with the wrong number. my friends have matured out of drunk-texting me at 4 am (well, most of them)
If you could change your eye color what would it be? i LOVE my eye color. but i could always go MORE green!
What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? vanilla to my diet coke. YUM.
Do you own a digital camera? yeah
Have you ever had a pet fish? no, but my parents do. i think it is still alive. i dont really pay attention to it.
Favorite Christmas song? so many. "What child is this" maybe. or "O Holy Night"....classic.
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? a road bike. or a dog. (both super expensive i realize)
Can you do push-ups? yes, i just started the "colt mccoy" workout this weekend- which requires a crap load of them.
Can you do a chin up? i could, but i choose not to. those things suck.
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? both. i just wish i had some sort of idea of where i will be, who i will be with, and what i will be doing in two years.
Do you have any saved texts? my phone saves every text ever sent automatically. pretty convenient for evidence purposes. (of course i would be thinking like a lawyer with that one)
Ever been in a car wreck? yes- spring break in high school. thought i was going to die.
Do you have an accent? apparently a pretty strong southern accent.
What is the last song to make you cry? "Breathe" by T-Swift. that is so gay, but i love her. and that song.
Plans tonight? running after work and then going to a new Bible Study (through Austin Stone) with a girl friend. so pumped.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yes. thank goodness i have a relationship with God to snap me out of it.
Name 2 things you bought yesterday. 1. dinner at Chuy's and 2. vanilla chai at Mozarts. (i eat alot here)
You ever been given roses? yep
Current hate right now? cliche words, like the word "intentional" (esp. when overused)
Met someone who changed your life? yes definitely.
What song represents you? "Emotional Girl"- Terri Clark. and currently-- "Capitol City" by Matt Wertz
What were you doing 12 AM last night? trying to fall asleep.
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? i need to change the song on my alarm because it is getting on my nerves so bad.

quote of the day

so i was just talking to one of the law clerks in my office about law, our passions/interests as those relate to the law, etc....and she shared with me an AMAZING quote that i wanted to pass along. It is along the lines of what God has been revealing to me a lot lately, and I just think it is awesome how God confirms through others what He has been speaking to us individually.

(the last sentence was the quote the lady shared with me, but i think the whole paragraph is worth posting!)

"There are different kinds of voices calling you to different kinds of work, and the problem is to find out which is the voice of God rather than of Society say, or the Superego, or Self-Interest. By and large a good rule for finding out is this. The kind of work God usually calls you to do is work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world needs most to have done. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet." -Frederick Buechner

life in the FUN lane!

i am officially on semi-vacation for the summer. [Semi] because i technically do have a "job" in austin- the internship...but after 4:00 every day, i literally go into full tourist mode. it's awesome. my afternoons have consisted of MANY good meals, trips to various lakes and pools in austin, concerts, put-put golf, more eating, hanging out at outdoor local bars and coffee shops...i truly feel like i am a professional tourist! Having amazing friends around and down to do anything-- like my friends who I have met on lake crew the past couple of summers--have made being here even better! I cant believe it is already June...which means I only have a month and a half left to work/play and pack as many activities into the evenings and weekends as possible! Some of my new friends that live in Austin are currently compiling an "austin activities" guide at the moment...and I just so happen to be around to benefit from their knowledge of the most adventurous and "local" things to do in this city--i can't wait!

To top off our recent adventures, me and my buddy Wes tried out Austin Stone this past weekend (the church in Austin that Chris Tomlin started)....and wow. amazing. I cant WAIT to go back this Sunday- we even met some friends on our first visit and we both cant wait to get more involved. I started to really consider transferring to UT to finish out law school so that I could be around for longer, but the thought of leaving my amazing friends, school, and BEACH HOUSE behind is too much to tackle right now....so I have resolved to move back here in exactly two years when I graduate. We shall see what the future holds, but I REALLY, REALLY hope it includes Austin at some point! 

Just to give you a little idea of what I am experiencing...this week will include (but is not limited to): a free concert at a restaurant by Barton Springs on Thurs. night, friends in town for the weekend and a FLOAT TRIP planned for Saturday, church and supper with new friends on Sunday, and a tentative movie on the lawn Sunday night at one of the parks in Austin.  love love love.